yay for spring!

So I was just going through my blog and realized.. man, this isn't a happy place to be! Oh my gosh! What a downer! So instead of venting today, which is usually what I do when I blog.. I will speak of happy things... k.. so Ricky is coming home next week to visit! I am so freakin excited! He has been gone for two weeks now.. (oh my that is a long time...) he is coming home from Tuesday to Friday and then going back... So we will get to be together for our anniversary! 7 years! We are so old!!!

So I am trying to think of some fun cheap things we can do for our night.... Thinking a movie... some gelato, dinner.... but maybe a matinee, and some ripples? lol... either way it will be sooooo nice to just be together!

and my veggies are growing so good! and my son is so freakin cute! (i think i might update his blog... it's been almost a year...)

thats all! Have a great weekend!

Forgiveness

So how do you forgive someone who says horrible things about you? How can you consider that person a friend, when either to your face, or in a round about way, they call you names you won't even say out loud? Do you pass it off as a bad temper or do you realize that after all that time when you thought you had a good relationship, at least now you finally know how they really feel? In turn, how can you ask to be forgiven when you have said something that has hurt someone? thoughts?

I feel..... well... i feel... hm...

So just this conference was really a wake up call for me. It was probably a wake up call for a lot of people.. But it really just called my attention to what I have become. A self absorbed, selfish, poor excuse for a friend... I have been so wrapped up in my own problems, in my own little world, feeling so alone and depressed, that instead of reaching out to be a friend to others, I have been perfectly happy to be out of the loop. I have disappeared from some of my most valuable friends because as far as I was concerned, no one could possibly understand what I was going through.... Not that I would tell anyone.... because every time i felt like i was having a confidential conversation, a week later Ricky would come to me and ask... "what did you say to ..." cause her husband just came to me and said..." So I went from feeling like I had people I could talk to, to feeling confined.. not being able to trust those that I should be able to...

There were a couple of times I tried to talk about it, but then it ended up feeling like a competition, like who's life sucks more... Like I said... conference really made me feel, well, like I was acting.. .selfish and like a bad friend. Not once did I stop and think, wow, maybe someone has it worse and I can help them out.. Or, no matter how I feel, I have to have faith that I can get through this and try to get over myself. I have been in a bad place, that's all there is to it. On top of that, the people who are supposed to be there for me are some of the one's causing even more grief... And the friends who I have neglected have given up on me. Whether or not they are completely done with me, only time will tell. I understand if I have been written off, no hard feelings. I am just kicking myself in the rear for allowing it to happen.

I have been sucked back into my twilight books... i have been better about it this time... it isn't as all consuming as it has been in the past... just my happy little place to get away...

Moral? I feel like I am getting better. I want to be a better friend. I want to be understood though if I am having a bad day and need to be alone. My friends from high school can attest, I like my alone time... lol... those were my saturdays most of the time... my me day's .... anyway. I sorta feel like bella, after she has started hanging out with jacob after edward left... like there is possibly a way to live, despite all that has happened... Like there is an end! i can't see it yet, but it is there somewhere!

I will say this. I am grateful for what I have. I have a beautiful little family, and regardless of anything else that happens, I will still have my beautiful little family. (unless i crack up and go to the loony bin! :D j/k)

BIG LOVE gets NO LOVE from me

So I just got this email from my cousin in law, saying that Big Love, by HBO, by Warner Bros. has worked with an ex-LDS person who helped them recreate Sacred Temple Ordinances, and Sacred articles of clothing to be used in an upcoming show. REALLY???!!!! First of all, I don't care who you are, that is very disrespectful. Even if you have left the church, can't you still remember how special and Sacred those things are? And why would Warner Bros. be so stupid as to air something, knowing that they will turn away most if not ALL of their LDS watchers? Why would I want to support Warner Bros. in anything that they produce? Even Harry Potter... yes, which makes me sad... but really!

Are they angry at the 2% of the voters in California that are LDS that voted against Prop 8? That is twice California has turned it down... Not just the LDS group, but the entire state... Stop blaming it on one group and see that we aren't the only ones who voted! I hate that Utah is being boycotted because of that... Grow up we all have a right to vote. But I do not believe that is any reason to destroy the sanctity of a religious practice.

I urge everyone to Write to Warner Bros. and simply tell them how you feel. I did.. I did not get angry or rude, but simply stated that I know it will not be worth it to them. They will lose more than viewers for HBO, they will turn away an entire Relious Sect. Maybe the economy is good enough for them that they can afford that. Anyway... That's it. I am so dissapointed in them and the disrespectful producers that would even allow it. And I will be very sad if it comes out. But ultimately, they will be the ones losing...

Work Work work...

So I have started back into the work force... I am done consulting... for now at least... I am working for a company called L I M E marketing. It is a marketing firm that does Branding, Identity, Logos, Web-development, etc. We are hosting an event in April called the Colors of Chocolate... i am sure you can guess what the theme of that night will be. so we are going to have some really good gourmet Chocolates! If you know of any companies that might need a new marketing firm, let me know and i will send out an invite... it is fun though! it is a group of young creative people... not a group from the old boys club. anyway... i miss my boys while i am at work, but it will be okay! that's it.. just a quick update.

Figuring out how to Ping...

Think Think Think

Thanks to my amazing, smart, handsome and very busy son, I have some very fun little songs stuck in my head. Such as, The Hot Dog Dance, Think think think, Blast Off... Now, if you have a toddler, and use the TV to calm your little one as I do often... You will probably know exactly what songs I am talking about. Mickey Mouse clubhouse, Tiger and Pooh, and Little Einsteins... The three shows that rule this household. I always swore that I would not be that mom that had the TV on all the time. But my gosh, what did they do when they didn't have that option?! What did our grandparents do with our parents to keep them busy?

Therefore... I am putting the question out there... We do story time at the library, and go to the mall play area, and go to grandma's house. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do during the day? Activities for toddlers to keep them busy? I really Hate having the TV on all the time.... And his toys only keep their interest for so long... So... Looking for ideas!